motivations

There's nothing quite like beating a dead horse, but on the possibility that certain people might read this, it's worth continuing to rub salt in the wound. So to speak. When you come from a position of certitude, it's easy to accuse and vilify. Which I guess is why I'm back here again.

What amuses me is that until the last couple of weeks I hadn't given a particular person much thought; it was over and done with and that was how I wanted it. But - BUT - she has to come and return that goddamned book just to be a bitch. Yes, I know she was being a bitch, because she did the exact same thing with other people. I know exactly what her mindset was and what she was trying to prove. Perhaps even more so with me, since I'm the one who accused her of being a liar, to have broken a promise, and not followed through on her word. In her warped mind, returning a penny book (on Amazon) would prove -- to her-- that I was wrong, that she really is an honest person.

Now that I know she's got to show up in court in December or be arrested for contempt, I fully believe that she blames me for having cursed her. She's probably kicking herself for telling me all her dirty little secrets. She probably believes I used that knowledge to construct a curse spell on her, to get her back into court, to cause her legal problems. Just as well for me if she does think it. I'll bet she's doing protection spells on herself every day, trying to block me . . . when I haven't lifted a finger (or an athame) to send any energy her way. Other than the black thoughts I've had about what a fucked in the head kook she is.

So what am I accomplishing by continuing this tirade? I guess keeping the energy alive. Even though I haven't done a real "spell," just my disgust and resolve to not let her anywhere near me has power that I'm sure she can feel. She should feel repelled. The only reason I believe she got up the nerve to come by my work was because I haven't been actively conjuring up any self-righteous feelings about her. If she tries anything like that again, I will do something formally.

I wonder what I would do if I saw her somewhere, like in a store. Knowing her, she would come over, all stiff, and say hello -- that is her modus operandi with people she's pissed off. She pretends to be civil and "mature" by saying hello, but it's just so that she can satisfy herself that she's the better person. If she did that to me, I'd have to say something like "go away," or perhaps stronger, "get away from me." Something along those lines, though, would make her think I was afraid of her. So it needs to be dismissive. Or something to freak her out. "David says he's never met you and that you've been stalking him." That would shut her up, ha!