Sneaky

I got an e-mail last night from a pagan friend, inviting us to a Samhain celebration at his home. It was unexpected, and I'm trying to decide if there is an ulterior motive behind it or not. He is a mutual friend of mine and the woman whom I feel betrayed a trust about a month and a half ago. The two of them have known each other for quite a long time, and are good friends. She's a bit histrionic and he's a bit longwinded, but they've done some nice rituals together. Now, I can totally see her going to him and asking him to invite us to his event because she wants to "resolve" some things with me. However, I find it harder to believe that he would go along with any such scheme. He takes his path seriously, and he wouldn't want any bullshit going on at his ritual, in his home. What I can see him doing is facilitating a place for the two of us (me and my ex-friend) to see each other and possibly open the door to a reconciliation. So, bottom line is, I don't know if I'm being played or not.

Fortunately, the two nights he proposed for the Samhain ritual are impossible for us, so I just e-mailed him a polite decline. I was sorely tempted to ask him if our this woman had put him up to inviting us, but I didn't. I figure if that is his motive, he will find another way to try to finagle it. Or she will find him a way to do it. I rather doubt that he would be party to such a thing, as he abhors drama. Yet there is a tiny part of me that thinks he might decide to play mediator, or might think he knows what's "best," and try to get us together. Still, I'm leaning to thinking he doesn't want any part of our tiff.

Now, my ex-friend . . . I can totally see her trying to wangle a way to see me and try to convince me she's right and I'm wrong. If she did convince our male friend to invite us, I'm a bit confused at to why she would want my husband there. She won't admit it, and goes to great pains to make a show of being tough, but I do believe she's afraid of him and his power. I know she's intimidated by his patron god, even though she disparages him at every turn. So I really don't think she's stupid enough to try to start something with me when my husband is there.

What's vexing me is, why were we invited to this event at all, after what happened between me and this woman. I can't imagine he'd be naive enough to think that we could stand in circle together, or that some sort of animosity would not at the very least, be sensed by everyone there. I will not stand in circle with her. And oh yes, I'm certain he's invited her, because they are very tight. See, I don't believe in this idea that you can put aside your differences and stand in circle with someone you don't respect or trust. To me, that is the antithesis of my belief system. I refuse to pretend or to tolerate when it comes to honoring deity. I suppose he might think that it's the "right thing to do," but to me it is the height of hypocrisy. I'm glad I had an "out" for both nights. Avoiding the situation altogether is the best route to take. I'm not averse to seeing him or having rituals with him -- but if she's going to be there, I won't be. Simple as that. And if he presses me about it, I will tell him. Although I'm sure she's already given him her side of it . ad nauseum. Which means, since he invited us to his event, that he either doesn't believe her, knows there is more to it than she is telling him, or simply doesn't care that we had a falling out. I suspect the latter.

Out of respect for him, his home, and his ritual, I believed the best thing to do was to just not go. And since we do have legitimate conflicts, I have no guilt. Now, if he suggests a different time . . . I may have to fib a little bit. Or else simply tell him the truth - that I don't want to see that woman, and I refuse to stand in circle. Nor will I be in the same room with her and fake some sort of tolerance.

It will be interesting to see if he contacts me again.